Vital Threads

Two decades of experience and results
bringing forth the best of your most vital asset,
Human Potential

The Six Vital Threads

At Vital Threads, I understand that who we “be” in this world (in other words, how we show up, what our beliefs are, and how we hold ourselves and others even in the stillness) is equally important as (if not more than) what we “do”.Six basic threads, woven throughout the fabric of my work and my interactions, define who I am and serve as a foundation for what I do at Vital Threads.

Thread #1: Nobody gets to be wrong; Everybody gets to be partially right

Human beings are judgment machines. In fact, in order to survive on a daily basis, we must rely on our judgment. Yet, it is my firm conviction that when it comes to human relationships and the dynamics between people in organizations, judgment gets in our way more often than it serves us. We form opinions of people the moment they enter a room. We hold tightly to our perceptions and do not allow the people in our lives to be something that does not fit our impressions. We even seek data to confirm our judgments. It is my goal, and even my life’s work, to help people step back from judgment and allow a whole new range of perceptions to emerge. I do this by teaching and modeling the philosophy: Nobody gets to be wrong; Everyone gets to be partially right. With this basic belief I make space for, and give permission to, the diverse perspectives, experiences, and solutions that make our world so rich.

Thread #2: Practice the power of AND

A corollary to the previous thread, the Power of AND is a belief that builds better ideas and stronger solutions. We rely too often on “but” and “or”, both of which tear down ideas, divide communities, and stall progress. The words “Let me tell you why that won’t work” are heard too often at boardroom and kitchen tables. With the Power of And, I teach and model the importance of finding what is right in another idea or perspective and building something better, together, from that.

Thread #3: Speak your truth; Hang around and take responsibility for your impact

“Effective Communication” is one of the many courses I teach as front-of-the room instructor. The main tenet of my communication philosophy is: Speak your truth, hang around and take responsibility for your impact. I firmly believe that organizations, relationships, and families would be far more effective if individuals (and leaders!) could learn to speak from their heart and then stay put to handle the results, or even clean up any messes unintentionally made. Unfortunately, a large majority of us fail to speak our truth because we fear our impact. Most of the rest of us speak our truth and pay no regard to our impact. As I work with my clients in the sometimes emotional and often complicated arena of human interaction, I strive to model truth telling combined with taking full responsibility for my impact.

Thread #4: Be as responsible for your experience as you are for that of the people around you

In the realm of human dynamics, there is a constant and necessary tension between “unity” and “uniqueness”. Some of us are quite successful at standing out, differentiating ourselves from others, and getting our needs met while at the same time alienating others and lessening the degree to which we belong. Others of us have mastered the ability to fit in and coalesce, at the expense of our own sense of self. With this 4th Vital Thread, I strive to create space between both extremes and allow each of us to fully honor who we are and what we bring while taking responsibility for our connection to and impact on the people in our lives and communities.

Thread #5: The Vegas Rule

Or, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. While the term is cliché at this point, it certainly resonates when people hear it. Simply put, as a coach, consultant, colleague, teacher, and partner, I believe that confidentiality is essential to my relationship with others. I respect and honor the need to keep our conversations confidential and only share information broadly if we agree that it right to do so, in the interest of greater learning or for the benefit others.

Thread #6: Have fun because laughter lubricates learning

I believe that life is a journey and that laughter and the ability to take ourselves lightly make for greater learning along the way. It is when we hold too tightly to our perceptions, definitions, and judgments of ourselves that we fail to make room for new learning and growth. Humor is a tool that I have added to my repertoire over the last several years. It has become invaluable in helping my clients let go of ineffective perspectives and behaviors and in un-sticking organizations from operating modes that no longer serve.